Hidden Hearts
by MangaMamma
Summary: The holidays are always an emotional time with friends and family reuniting. The Gundam boys get together and buried emotions resurface. Will the bonds of friendship and love keep them together, or tear them apart?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Just playing.

Bored at work one day, I popped onto to entertain myself. I found this little story that was 1x3 and I thought, "What the hell?" So I read it and the pairing made sense to me so I found myself inspired to write one myself. I know it's not my normal fav pairing but I think it really works. Hope you like it.

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 1**

"You're lucky."

The two words hung in the air between the two men, much like their breath in the chilly morning air. Both were early risers so when Heero entered the kitchen to find Trowa pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee, there was no surprise. Instead, a comfortable silence was shared as the two friends took their cups of steaming fresh black coffee out to the front porch to enjoy the sunrise over the snowcapped mountains.

The former Gundam pilots had a tradition of spending Christmas through New Years together at one of Quatre's family homes and this year found the group in the appropriately wintry setting of a mountain retreat.

Heero personally preferred the white setting to last year's tropical locale on L7. Christmas on a beach with a decorated palm tree seemed blasphemous to him. But this year the five of them had gone out and chopped down a huge blue spruce and decorated it while there was a roaring fire and snow falling outside. That had been yesterday and today was Christmas Eve.

"I suppose so."

Heero took a sip from his mug to hide the smile. He expected no less from the quiet man next to him.

"How's Catherine?"

"Very happy. She met someone."

Heero turned his face towards Trowa just enough to reveal his raised eyebrow and silent question. Trowa smiled and allowed a soft chuckle.

"He's a good man. Kind, and down-to-earth."

Heero just nodded and returned to facing front, the snow adopting a soft orange tint from the rising sun.

Trowa observed the pensive profile momentarily before looking out over the landscape. He couldn't get Heero's initial statement out of his mind. _Why did he say that? Is it the holidays making him sad? Or could there be something on his mind and that was the only clue he was willing to share_?

He noticed how Heero quickly changed the subject after his response to the odd statement. _And he changed it to family. Another clue? Perhaps…._

"It's a shame Relena couldn't join us this year."

No response from his coffee companion. Not even a twitch. Through the gossip mill that was Quatre and Duo, Trowa had overheard the two speaking about the recent separation of Heero and Relena. By all accounts it was a mutual breakup so Trowa was left wondering if perhaps that information was incorrect. _Was he truly in love with her and she broke his heart_?

"We both knew it wouldn't work but she said she still wanted to try."

"Practicality was never one of her strong suits."

This earned Trowa a smile which he accepted wholeheartedly. It wasn't often he saw Heero so unguarded with his emotions. They were very similar in that respect. Both men were calm and collected and hid their emotions and thoughts well. _Maybe too well_.

"The truth is she was never the one I loved."

In a moment of desperation Heero let down all his barriers and gazed deeply into green eyes, exposing all his feelings, hoping that Trowa could see what he couldn't say aloud.

Trowa met the cerulean eyes and allowed himself to drown in their depths. Those eyes which usually held such strength and determination now shimmered with emotion. He saw everything. He saw the fear and insecurity. He saw the loneliness. And he saw the unspoken truth that had existed between them for years.

_Is he finally ready? After all this time…..are you ready to admit your feelings to me, Heero?_

"Heero….tell me----"

"Good morning, you two!"

Trowa swallowed his words and turned to see Quatre walking out onto the porch bundled in a robe and boots and stocking cap, coffee cup grasped firmly in both hands.

"Good morning, Quatre."

"Morning."

The cheerful blonde ignored the tension and sat down between Trowa and Heero. When Trowa had gotten out of bed taking his heat with him, Quatre had woken up shivering. So he thought he would join his longtime boyfriend for some early morning peace and quiet. But when he approached the door he heard voices and stopped to listen. As he heard the limited conversation between Trowa and Heero his stomach twisted painfully. He had been clued into Heero's feelings for Trowa a few years ago when Trowa had been bed ridden for weeks with pneumonia. Quatre had been away on business and found out through his sister who informed him everything would be ok because their friend Heero had arrived to take care of Trowa in Quatre's absence. Apparently Trowa had been speaking with Heero on a vid phone when the observant pilot of Wing Zero noticed how pale and weak Trowa looked.

Ever since then Quatre had been terrified of losing Trowa to Heero. He thought his worries were over when Heero and Relena became a couple but that barely lasted a year. He stood frozen as he heard Heero's confession, but as soon as Trowa spoke up Quatre panicked and burst onto the scene before anyone could say anything further.

The trio sat on the porch, hips pressed together, sipping coffee and lost in their own thoughts. Quatre took a sip of his coffee and turned to Trowa with a warm smile.

"This is nice. No wonder you get up early. You should wake me next time."

"Of course."

Quatre's smile brightened and he leaned in giving Trowa a quick kiss before leaning his head on his shoulder. That was when Heero stood and went back inside without another word. Trowa could say nothing and kept his gaze fixed on the awakening world before him.

_Would you have told me, Heero? _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Trowa stood in the loft and leaned his arms on the railing looking down on the scene below. Heero and Wufei were playing chess while Duo made smores in the fireplace.

"Ok! Who wants one? Hot and fresh and gooey!"

"I'll take one."

Trowa spoke up as he trotted down the stairs, his mouth already watering at the prospect of the freshly prepared treat. He graciously accepted the confection and sat down by Duo, ready to help make more once he was done.

"Here's the eggnog!"

Quatre entered with a tray containing glasses and a pitcher, placing everything on a nearby table and pouring glasses for himself and Trowa before joining his boyfriend by the fireplace.

"For you."

Trowa accepted the glass and the kiss with a smile.

"Hey, Quat, where's mine? I'm working hard here ya know."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Duo, of course I'll get you one."

"Sit, I'll get it."

Quatre smiled and watched Trowa walk away, admiring the lithe figure as it crossed the room. But his smile quickly faded when his eyes fell upon the figure Trowa was standing next to waiting to pour a glass of eggnog. He was sure he was being irrational, but he swore the pair was standing closer than necessary. _Did he just offer to go because he saw Heero standing over there_?

He kept staring and felt his stomach churn as he watched Heero place the pitcher back down and before he could let go, Trowa had placed his hand over Heero's. There the two stood, not moving, just sharing a stolen moment of holding hands in their own secretive way. _Trowa….do you really love him that much? Where did these feelings for Heero come from? What happened to your feelings for me? Do you not love me anymore? _

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero casually observed Trowa join Duo by the fireplace and suppressed a smile as he watched the man known for his restraint savor every morsel of the chocolaty concoction known as a smore. It always amused him that Trowa had such a sweet tooth.

"Here's the eggnog!"

At the sound of Quatre's voice Heero turned his attention back to Wufei and the chess game. He already knew the move he was going to make regardless of what Wufei did so he patiently bided his time. _I'll get some eggnog while he's thinking_.

He cast a glance over to see Quatre smiling at Trowa and his stomach twisted. _How could I even think to say something to Trowa? I'll be hurting Quatre in the process_. _And if he truly felt the same way about me, wouldn't he have said something by now_?

Suddenly he felt a very warm presence next to him. Trowa was radiating heat and the smell of chocolate from sitting next to the fireplace. Heero concentrated on the task of pouring a glass of eggnog, tightening his grip on the pitcher. He put the pitcher down with a quiet sigh and when a warm hand enveloped his own he closed his eyes and soaked up the pleasant, calming effect, his body immediately relaxing.

"You shouldn't worry so much, Heero. All you can do is make your move and hope you are victorious."

He looked up at Trowa and gazed in bewilderment as the man gently pulled the pitcher out of Heero's slack grip and poured a glass of eggnog. Deep in his heart he wanted to believe that Trowa was not speaking about his game of chess with Wufei. When Trowa had poured the glass he looked up at Heero, a small smile curving his lips and Heero watched helplessly as Trowa walked away and rejoined Duo and Quatre. _Were you trying to tell me something, Trowa or has my mind as well as my heart finally been consumed by you_?

_To be continued…._


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Just playing.

Thank you for your encouraging words and I hope to see even more as the story progresses. Some expressed concern for Quatre and it made me smile because honestly, I don't see how anyone could hurt someone with a face like that. What I will say is that unfortunately, into everyone's life a little rain must fall. Even those adorable blonde people who live in the desert.

But enough of that for now. Please enjoy this festive interlude.

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 2**

The next morning, it was not Trowa or Heero who was the first one awake. It was Duo. In his gleeful fit of Christmas morning cheer, he went to each and every door, banging and yelling for his friends to wake up before making his way downstairs to ogle the mountain of brightly colored packages.

Heero was the first one to join Duo downstairs.

"Merry Christmas, Heero!"

Heero grunted as he bypassed Duo, making his way to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Duo stuck his tongue out at the retreating figure's back, but quickly turned his attention to the next one downstairs.

"Merry Christmas, Trowa"

"Merry Christmas, Duo."

"Oh, don't worry about coffee, Mr. Scrooge is making it as we speak."

Trowa shook his head and chuckled as he went to sit down in a nearby chair, knowing exactly who Duo was referring to.

"Merry Christmas, 'Fei!"

"I swear you're worse than a child."

Wufei shuffled past Duo and Trowa heading for the kitchen to make some tea.

"Those two are such sourpusses. How can you not be happy on Christmas morning?"

"I agree, Duo, and you shouldn't let anybody get you down."

Duo and Trowa turned to see Quatre descending the staircase.

"Merry Christmas, Quat!"

"Merry Christmas, Duo. Would anyone like something from the kitchen?"

"Yeah, Heero and Wufei."

Quatre chuckled at the pouting brunette on the sofa as he made his way to the kitchen. There he found Wufei seated at the table, steeping a bag of tea and deeply inhaling the aromatic steam rising from his cup. Heero was standing in front of the coffeepot, looking at the gurgling machine expectantly.

"Merry Christmas you two."

Both men looked up from their respective tasks and managed to mumble responses and Quatre could only laugh. _Those two are so much alike_. He opened the refrigerator and rummaged around for several seconds before pulling out a tray of food. He placed it on the table and took off the plastic lid and smiled.

"Mission accomplished."

Wufei's eyebrows rose, asking his silent question of the proud blonde across from him.

"I managed to keep Duo from eating our breakfast by hiding it all the way in the back of the fridge. He never bothers to move things."

Wufei chuckled as he eyed the tray piled with various pastries. _Great, Maxwell is bad enough and now Quatre is going to get him all sugared up_.

"Hey, you want some coffee?"

Quatre looked up to see three coffee mugs sitting next to the coffeepot, two already having been filled. Quatre just nodded and Heero poured the third cup.

"Two sugars please, and Trowa likes his---"

"Black. Got it."

Quatre tried to smile but it wouldn't stay in place so he picked up the tray of pastries and headed into the living room. _It's just coffee. They had coffee together yesterday morning. He could have easily noticed then. I want to stop being so paranoid but in my heart…..I know_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

You would have thought that several children, not five grown men, had caused the Christmas carnage strewn throughout the expansive living room. Tendrils of ribbon were draped everywhere, including around a few necks. Balled up wrapping paper of various sizes were scattered all over the floor, furniture, and even in the Christmas tree. Bows were stuck to chests, heads, arms and legs, worn proudly as badges of honor received during battle. Not long after they had finished unwrapping their gifts, Duo, in his sugared-up state, had instigated an all-out battle with the trappings of Christmas. It hadn't been hard to do. All it took was provoking Wufei enough to retaliate and the others would follow. And getting under Wufei's skin was easy: just mention Sally Po.

But now the battlefield was quiet and five men lay about on sofas and chairs and ottomans.

"Next year, if anybody gives him sugar before opening presents, I will personally run them through."

"You loved it, 'Fei."

"At least I didn't come in last."

"Whatever."

Wufei smiled at the childish response and looked over to see Duo laying sprawled across an ottoman, ribbon making his braid look like a maypole while several bows were stuck to his back, arm and head. _He's always been way too gung-ho in battle. The fool_.

"So who's going to clean this mess up?"

Quatre's question was met with three voices chorusing,

"Duo!"

While one lone voice spoke up loud and clear,

"Heero!"

"Why should I clean up a mess _you_ started?"

"To the victor go the spoils?"

Heero sat up and reached out to his left and yanked Duo's braid.

"Ow!"

"C'mon, get up. I'll help you clean this mess."

Duo rolled over onto his back, the bows making an odd crunch sound, and looked up at Heero with a smile full of wonder.

"What's this? Has our Grinch's heart grown three times this day?"

"That's it."

Duo yelps as he tries to escape Heero, but he doesn't get far and despite all his struggles, he is hogtied with Christmas ribbon. His task complete, Heero stands up with a satisfied sigh and then starts for the stairs, ignoring the amused and impressed looks of his friends.

"I'm going to take a shower."

"Heero! Don't you leave me like this! Heero?!"

Duo grunts as he tries to free himself from the surprisingly sturdy ribbons but stops when he hears movement and mumbling from his friends, agreeing to showers and changing clothes.

"Guys?! Hello! A little help here!"

But the only one who responded was Wufei as he ascended the stairs.

"If you can't free yourself by the time I'm done my shower, I'll cut you loose."

"What?! Are you serous?! 'Fei!"

_To be continued…._

**Afterthought:** I had someone proof this for me and after they finished reading the chapter they asked why Quatre and Trowa didn't say Merry Christmas to each other. My answer is simple: They are a couple and would have no doubt exchanged their own Christmas greetings in the privacy of their own room. At least, that's how it works in my house.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Just playing.

A little back story in this chapter, hope the flashbacks aren't too confusing.

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 3**

"Hey, 'Fei! Dontcha want to help with dinner?"

Wufei raised an eyebrow at the grinning brunette who was tying his apron in place. He never ceased to be impressed with Duo's positive attitude. Even after being tied up and left on the living room floor for forty minutes while everyone else showered and dressed, Duo was still enthusiastic and full of smiles for everyone. _If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he was taking drugs_.

"I think I'll pass. I trust you and Quatre to prepare the meal."

"Suit yourself."

Both men smiled at each other, knowing they would have the same conversation every year. The job of cooking dinner had been commandeered by Duo and Quatre after one disastrous year of having everyone make a dish. There had been two shoving matches, numerous heated arguments, a broken dish, a destroyed kitchen and a dinner that nobody wanted not only because they were all in a bad mood, but because the foods were all so different in taste that nothing complimented.

Wufei slowly walked upstairs, ready to immerse himself in a book in the peace and quiet of his room when he saw Heero standing in the hallway.

"Is the wall falling down?"

Heero only smirked and then Wufei heard the sound of a flute fill the air and he instantly knew the situation. It had been a longtime theory of his that there was something between Heero and Trowa but the fact that Trowa was still with Quatre after all this time made him wonder if he imagined the whole thing. Until now. _Is it possible they're having an affair_?

"I'll leave you to your post."

Wufei saluted Heero and twin smirks were exchanged before Wufei continued on to his room.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero stood leaning against the wall outside the open study door, listening to Trowa play the flute and losing himself to memories of days gone by. He thought back to the time when Trowa had accompanied him on his journey to seek out Noventa's granddaughter and wife as penance for killing General Noventa, offering his life as payment. _He even went so far as Antarctica so I could face Zechs. I don't understand_ w_hy he stayed by my side back then, but that's when I started seeing him in a whole new light._

His mind still drifting lazily, Heero fell into more recent memories. He remembered calling Trowa early one morning after waking up from an intense dream about the former pilot of Heavyarms. _Even then, my need for him was so strong_. But when the image of a flushed and sickly man appeared on the vid screen, his need was instantly forgotten and replaced with worry. Heero hadn't believed Trowa when he said it was a small cold and finding out Quatre was away on business and knowing how stubborn Trowa was, he hopped the first transport out and arrived at Trowa's and Quatre's place the next evening.

**begin flashback**

"Heero? What are you doing here?"

Trowa looked even worse than when he saw him 24 hours ago.

"I'm here to take care of you."

Trowa opened his mouth to protest but he became wracked with a coughing fit instead and Heero wasted no time in putting him back to bed and tracking down one of the house staff to get a doctor called immediately.

A few hours later, after Heero had thanked the doctor and sent someone to get Trowa's medicine, he was sitting by Trowa's bedside gazing down at the semiconscious man. He reached out and brushed some damp hair back from Trowa's forehead and placed a new cold cloth in its place.

"Heero…what are…you doing?"

"Taking care of you."

"No need…."

"I disagree."

Heavy eyelids half opened and deep green eyes fixed on Heero.

"Your work."

"It can wait."

At Heero's words, Trowa's eyes opened fully for a few seconds but his body was so weak they slowly fell to half-mast again.

"I can't let you do this."

Heero smiled.

"You don't really have a choice."

Trowa sighed and for the first time Heero wondered whether or not Trowa truly wanted him there. He looked out the window next to the bed and questioned the wisdom of his actions. He'd been harboring a growing affection for the quiet man and it didn't seem to be waning as they spent more and more time apart. _What was I thinking? He's with Quatre. I have no right to be here_.

Suddenly a sweaty hand grabbed hold of his own and he turned to see Trowa gazing up at him.

"Thank you, Heero. I'm glad…..you're here."

For the next two weeks Heero stayed with Trowa and took care of him, making sure he took his medicine, got plenty of fluids and checked in with the doctor and Quatre regularly. Quatre had wanted to come back from his trip right away but Trowa insisted he stay and finish. Heero could hear the worry and fear in Quatre's voice and when Heero had questioned Trowa's decision, Trowa merely smiled at him and gave a simple yet unexpected answer.

"It's better that you're here. My recovery will be less stressful."

And so it was that Trowa made a swift recovery. But the doctor warned against relapse and so neither Trowa nor Heero ever mentioned Heero leaving. Instead they spent a lot of time together, playing cards, reading, watching TV, and taking walks outside in the expansive gardens surrounding the house and even short trips into town.

Heero, like Trowa, felt awkward having people prepare all his meals for him so once Trowa was up for solid food, every evening they could be found sitting in the kitchen as they prepared meals together.

**end flashback**

Heero closed his eys and sighed, the lilting, sad sound of the flute causing the dull ache in his chest to sharpen.

_What a perfect time that was. It was just the two of us and it felt so right just to be with him. I should have told him while I had the chance. There were so many openings….._

**begin flashback**

"Trowa…..is this….your room?"

"Yes."

Trowa continued to leaf through a song book looking for a particular song he wanted to play while Heero let his gaze wander around the room. He'd been curious ever since he arrived as to why Trowa was sleeping in a single bed in a room that obviously seemed his alone, but his concern for Trowa outweighed his curiosity. The room was done in warm earth tones and there were several bookcases crammed with books of all sorts. There was one tall chest of drawers and a worn leather chair which Heero currently occupied. One corner of the room was dedicated to music with a couple stacks of music books, his flute case and a music stand. The walls were bare with the exception of a small wall by the entrance that was littered with photos of Catherine and his family at the circus as well as pictures of the pilots. Heero liked the room and felt comfortable in it immediately.

"Where's…Quatre's room?"

"Our bedroom is through that door."

Trowa nodded absently at a nondescript door on the far wall. Heero had assumed it was a closet. He frowned at the door and what lay beyond it, thankful that he hadn't had to face the bed that Trowa shared with Quatre. _Did he do that on purpose? Does he know how I feel about him? I guess me showing up like this is pretty unorthodox. He has to sense something is going on_.

"Ah, here we go. Ready, Heero?"

Heero returned his attention to the tall, slim man standing a few feet away. He nodded and smiled as he sat back and listened to Trowa play---

"Hey, Heero. Whatcha doin' out here in the hallway?"

Heero was ripped from his memories and he scowled, more at his own stupidity for being caught than Duo interrupting him and he stiffened when he heard the playing stop.

"I was just listening."

"Trowa doesn't mind if you go in and listen to him, c'mon."

Duo grabbed Heero's hand but the former pilot of Wing Zero yanked it away and growled at his well-intentioned friend.

"_Let go_."

"Hey! What's wrong with you?"

Trowa appeared in the doorway, flute in hand, betraying none of the emotions within. He hadn't known Heero had been standing there listening to him. He had been too caught up in playing and thinking about Heero. Only Duo's voice and the sound of Heero's name brought him back to reality.

"Hey guys."

"Hey, Trowa. Heero and I were just coming to listen to you play, if that's alright. I have a bit before I have to go baste a bird."

"Of course."

A sharp green eye turned to Heero who couldn't hold the gaze. He turned, mumbled something about a headache and fled to his room.

_To be continued…._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Just playing.

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 4**

KNOCK KNOCK

Heero lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, not acknowledging his visitor.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Heero? I have some aspirin for you."

At the sound of Trowa's voice Heero sat up and just looked at the door, debating about whether or not he should let the man in.

KNOCK KNOCK

"Heero? I'm coming in."

The door creaked open and revealed the tall brunette looking a little unsure of himself.

"I brought you some aspirin."

He closed the door behind him and went over to Heero, placing a small white bottle on his nightstand.

"Thanks."

They remained there in the darkened room without a sound breeching the tense moment. Finally, Trowa reached a hand behind his back and it came back holding a CD.

"Here. I hope you like it."

Heero took the jewel case and gazed at the picture on the front, knowing the room instantly. It was Trowa's room back at his and Quatre's place. The room he'd spent two weeks in taking care of the sick man. The room was dim with the exception of a stream of sunlight coming in through the window and landing upon a music stand and a shiny silver flute.

He turned the case over and there was a list of songs and composers. At the very bottom were the words "all compositions performed by Trowa Barton". Heero looked up to Trowa and the man smiled shyly.

"I know it seems arrogant to give you a disc of my own music but I thought you might like it. Merry Christmas, Heero."

"But," Heero looked down at the disc again, flipping it over to gaze at the picture. "You already gave me a gift."

"That was mostly from Quatre. This is just something from me to you."

"I…..don't know what to say."

There was a quiet chuckle from the brunette and Heero looked up to see Trowa gazing down at him with the warmest look in his eyes and Heero felt like his chest would burst. He was trying to think of anything to say but not only had his mind gone blank, but his voice wasn't working and he was having trouble breathing as well.

"It's customary to say 'thank you'."

Heero could only gaze up at the brunette and the longer the silence lasted, the more Trowa's shy smile fell. Heero began to panic. _Why can't I say anything_?!

"It's ok if…..you don't like the gift. I can take---"

As Trowa's hand reached out for the CD Heero suddenly stood up causing Trowa to take a few steps back.

"No."

He was holding the plastic jewel case to his chest.

"I want it. Thank you."

Trowa's smile was back and Heero could feel his entire body heating up. _We're alone and he's so close and I should tell him. But….I can't. Damn it_!

"You're welcome."

The two stood in the bedroom and just watched each other. Finally, Trowa spoke up, hoping to finally put an end to their longtime standoff.

"Heero…..you look like you have something on your mind. Would you like to talk about it?"

_Oh god, yes! I'm in love with you. I have been for so long but you've been with Quatre and I've tried to respect that but now……Trowa……_

Even in the diminishing light Trowa could see the turmoil behind the steely blue eyes. _He's hesitating. Is he still too scared? And why am I making him admit to his feelings? Why can't I just tell him? We're both such cowards._

"Thank you….for the aspirin. And the concert."

"Why didn't you come into the study? The sound would have been better."

Heero looked down at the floor, still hugging the CD to his chest with one hand. _I couldn't come in, Trowa. I couldn't sit there and gaze at the one person who matters most to me and know that he belonged to another. My whole body is aching at being so close to you now and not being able to….._

"Heero?"

Heero kept his head down. He couldn't handle seeing Trowa's smile, or his concern. There had been too much innuendo going on between them since they all gathered at the house. _I need to distance myself. He's with Quatre. If he had feelings for me, he would tell me, right? That's one of the things I love about him. He's forthright and honest_.

"Heero…."

Heero heard the quiet plea and he almost looked up in answer. _He sounds….worried. Almost scared. Is it possible…? Is he just as scared as I am to do this_?

Trowa waited for another minute before giving up with a tired sigh.

"Alright then, I understand."

Trowa turned and silently made his way to the door and just as his hand wrapped around the doorknob, Heero's voice stopped his retreat.

"Trowa, wait."

He didn't look back. He just stood there with his back to the room, hand still on the doorknob. They both stood there in silence and as the seconds ticked by Trowa's grip on the doorknob became tighter and tighter until finally his pride demanded that he leave and he turned the metal ball to exit the room. But he only got the door open a few inches before it was suddenly slammed shut.

As soon as Heero heard the click of the doorknob being turned his body moved on its own volition and he dropped the CD and leapt at Trowa, his body covering the brunette's as his hands slammed against the door, landing so they framed Trowa's head.

"Don't go."

Trowa laid his forehead against the door and when he spoke, his voice was pleading and cracked a few times and it broke Heero's heart to hear the normally calm and silky voice reduced to such a state. _I've done this to him. He's suffering because of me_.

"Heero, please…..if you can't….say it…..just let me go."

Heero raised his head just enough to whisper in Trowa's ear. _I have to say it. This is my only chance. If I don't…..I'll lose him forever_. Heero swallowed hard, prepared to take a risk far greater than any mission he'd ever been on.

"I love….you….Trowa. I love you and……I want…..to be with you."

Heero felt Trowa's body relax and he heard a quiet sigh that sounded as if it was let go in relief. Slowly Trowa turned around, still caught between Heero and the door. He met the intense cerulean eyes and saw so much life within them he became scared and excited all at once even as his gaze never wavered and steadily held Heero within its grasp. _So long….I've waited so long….Heero…..you are who I dream about as I lay in bed. …..you are what I need in my life._

"I love you too, Heero."

Heero felt like he could die happy hearing Trowa's quiet, confident voice say those words. He felt the corner of his mouth trying to pull up into a smile but he wouldn't allow it. He still wasn't certain what was happening.

"Now what?"

"Love me, Heero."

Anxious cerulean eyes gazed into the steady jade and he saw the truth of the statement. Heero pressed his lips against Trowa's in a desperate kiss, smashing their lips together as if frightened Trowa would disappear at any moment or take back those precious words. He brought his hands up and entangled his fingers within the light brown hair and that small gesture calmed his anxiety so the passion could come through and he no longer feared losing Trowa to a moment of tortured dreams. The kiss morphed into a passionate, deep affair where lips and tongues sensually explored and tasted.

Somehow the pair managed to make it back to the bed where they collapsed but never lost contact. Hands hastily removed clothes and explored exposed, overheated skin. Heero buried Trowa under him as his mouth took full advantage of the bare chest and Trowa hissed, thrusting upwards with his hips, grinding their erections together.

Heero groaned and nipped at Trowa's chest. Fingers tangled themselves in his hair and pulled insistently until Heero finally relented and captured Trowa's mouth with his own. With Heero still propped up on his hands, Trowa slipped his nimble fingers down and let them play along Heero's waistband before slipping them under and grabbing his ass, pulling him down and eliciting a growl from the man.

"Trowa….."

Trowa's heart clenched in his chest and his body ignited beyond anything he'd ever known at the mere sound of Heero growling his name in such an animalistic way.

"I know...don't stop…."

Heero pulled back, his eyes dark with lust as he searched the flushed face with half lidded eyes.

"Are you sure? What about Qu---"

Trowa cut off Heero's question with his lips and any hesitations Heero had slipped away, to be replaced by his overpowering need to possess the man beneath him.

_To be continued…._


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Just playing.

**_Yes, I realize this is the second chapter in a row starting with KNOCK KNOCK and if anyone has a good joke to go with it, I'd love to hear it. I couldn't think of one, damn it._**

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 5**

KNOCK KNOCK

"Hey, Heero, wake up! Dinner is almost ready!"

Heero sat up with a gasp, his heart stopping at the sound of the pounding on his door. Next to him he heard a quiet chuckle being muffled into a pillow and he turned and scowled at the amused brunette lying next to him.

"I locked the door."

Heero took a deep breath and fell back onto the bed with a groan after hearing the whispered confession.

"Hey, you awake?! Heero!"

"Yeah, I'm awake! Dinner. Got it."

Heero waited until he heard Duo's grumbling fading down the hallway before he turned to face Trowa.

"You could have told me."

"I was otherwise occupied."

With a growl Heero rolled over and pulled Trowa to him, kissing him deeply, and then pulling back just enough to speak as he stroked the chestnut hair.

"I don't think I can let go."

Trowa smiled and kissed Heero's forehead before squeezing him tightly, their warm naked bodies seemingly melting together.

"I'm sorry, Heero. But our time must come to an end."

Heero's body stiffened and he pushed Trowa up by his shoulders, staring at him, horrified. _What did he just say? I thought that he wanted to be with me. I told him I loved him and we…._

Trowa craned his neck and leaned in to slowly lick along Heero's slightly parted lips.

"Aren't you hungry too? I would have thought you worked up quite an appetite."

Heero blinked a few times as his body started functioning again, Trowa's words sinking in. He playfully pushed the smirking man off of him and got out of bed, throwing a pillow in Trowa's face for good measure.

"I never knew you were so violent when hungry, Heero."

"And I never knew you had such a vicious side."

Heero walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower before going back out into the bedroom to face Trowa. But as he emerged from the bathroom his breath caught in his throat at the sight before him. Trowa was still lying on the bed, covers up to his hips, but he was now peeking over the pillow Heero had thrown at him, creating a mischievous and seductive picture. Thanks to the sweat the pair had generated Trowa's bangs were plastered back revealing a set of glittering green eyes that gave away the smile concealed by the pillow as slender fingers curved over the edge of the pillow.

Trowa saw the change in Heero as soon as he laid eyes on him and even though he hadn't planned to make the man stare, he was pleased with the result nonetheless. _It feels so good and natural to be with him. I feel like I can be myself. Quatre would have been in tears had I pulled a stunt like that with him. But Heero…_.

Trowa stood up and approached Heero, their eyes never leaving one another until Trowa stopped right in front of him and let his gaze drop momentarily before coming back up to Heero.

"I hope you're thinking of me."

And with that Trowa entered the bathroom to shower leaving Heero alone with his twitching erection.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero desperately tried to keep his focus on the meal before him. Duo and Quatre had worked all day to prepare the feast and now all five of them were gathered at a large circular table practically overflowing with food.

"I think you two went a little overboard this year."

"Are you kidding, 'Fei? My appetite alone demands half this table."

"Besides, think of the wonderful leftovers."

"Hey, you're right, Quat. I'm looking forward to that midnight snack already."

"You're a pig, Maxwell."

Heero was half tuned into the conversation going on around him, but mostly his attention was occupied with recent memories of a certain limber brunette writhing under him. He could feel the heat their bodies were generating and smell the sweat mixed with sex.

"Heero? Hey, man, you ok?"

A soft touch on his shoulder jerked Heero out of his flashback and he looked up to see everyone at the table staring at him with concern.

"What?"

"Are you ok?"

He looked to his right and saw Duo's worried face and he frowned.

"Yes. Why?"

"You're flushed and you've barely eaten. Maybe you're coming down with something. Do you still have the headache from earlier?"

Heero blinked a few times as Duo placed a hand on his forehead and one on his own to check his temperature.

"You feel warm. Maybe you should go lay down."

"I'm…." Heero looked around the table and when his eyes set upon Trowa he felt a wave of heat sear through his body and he knew he wouldn't last. "…..maybe you're right. Excuse me."

"I'll check on you later, ok?"

Heero didn't acknowledge Duo's last statement. He just made his way out of the dining room and upstairs to his room where he gracelessly collapsed on his bed. _Trowa….oh gods, it wasn't enough…..I need you….._ Heero's hand slid down past his waistband and he turned his head and buried it in the pillow as he moaned.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"It's not for me! I swear!"

Trowa entered the kitchen to Duo's shouted protests and a disbelieving Wufei staring him down, arms crossed over is chest authoritatively.

"Then how else do you explain the plate of food?"

"It's for Heero. I thought he might be up for some food."

"That's what I was coming in here to do, thank you, Duo."

Trowa walked up to Duo and took the plate of food and filled glass from the brunette and smiled to both his friends before he turned to leave.

"Hey, wait, Trowa. I'll do it."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to do it. I owe him for the time he took care of me."

Duo just nodded and watched as Trowa left the kitchen, leaving him with Wufei who was still staring at him as if he'd done something wrong.

"What, 'Fei? I told you, it wasn't for me."

"Hmph. I bet you can't even go the night without eating leftovers."

"Can too!"

"Prove it."

"Fine. you're on!"

Duo stomped out of the kitchen in an indignant huff while Wufei went to the fridge, a smug grin on his face as he pulled a bottle of water out and closed the door, heading back out to the living room. _Sometimes it's fun to give in to his childish impulses. God bless him, I hope he never changes_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Trowa knocked on the door a few times and called out to Heero but got no response so he opened the door and walked inside to find an empty, dark room. But the sound of the shower quickly caught his attention and he smiled a she placed the plate and glass on the bedside table and silently made his way to the bathroom door, preparing to indulge his voyeuristic tendencies.

The door was closed so he used all his infiltrating skills gained as a guerilla soldier to open the door and enter the room, closing it again behind him, without a single noise. He could see the flesh-colored outline of Heero behind the translucent shower curtain but as he reached for the curtain, his smile growing more feral by the second, his actions were halted by the tortured sound of Heero's moan.

_Could it be? _

Suddenly, small details like the lack of steam from a normal hot shower and Heero's inability to detect someone in the room with him alarmed Trowa.

_There's no way he'd be this careless. Not even among friends. Not unless he's truly sick._

"You've got five seconds to get in here before I pull you in here myself."

Trowa's eyes widened at the sound of the commanding voice and then his smile returned as he scoffed and pushed the curtain aside. There Heero stood in all his naked glory, leaning against the tiled wall, one hand wrapped around his almost purple erection, the other tangled within his own hair. Despite the cool water spraying his body, it looked flush and Trowa couldn't help but chuckle.

"Heero, you truly are going to catch a cold if you stand under cold water like that."

"Get in here. _Now_."

"But I don't want to get sick."

Trowa thought he knew the frustrated man's next course of action and expected him to emerge from the shower. But he was shocked when Heero reached out and pulled him into the shower, clothes and all as he captured his lips with an angry growl. Too shocked and overwhelmed by the shiver of excitement that ran down his spine, Trowa could do nothing but cling tightly to Heero.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Sorry."

Heero towel-dried his hair as he watched Trowa wring out his clothes in the tub, a towel wrapped around his waist. Heero admired the lean, muscular arms as they wrung out the beige sweater and draped it over the curtain rung.

"No need to apologize. I could have easily escaped you."

"Hmph."

Trowa turned to see a matching smirk aimed at him.

"I would have at least not been dragged into the shower."

Heero walked towards Trowa and reached out with his towel, placing it over Trowa's head and slightly massaging the man's head.

"You need to dry your hair or you will catch a cold."

Heero continued to dry Trowa's hair with his towel for a few minutes, unaware of the mystified look he was receiving.

_All these years…..I was the one taking the initiative……giving, guiding, and setting the tone for our love life. But with Heero…..he desires me and he doesn't hold back. He'll take control……I can give myself over to him. But I wonder…..will he do the same for me?_

Trowa brought his hands up and stopped Heero's gentle ministrations, pulling the towel from his head and letting it drop to the floor.

"Enough."

He cupped Heero's face in his large hands and kissed him fiercely while guiding them out of the bathroom and towards the bed. Heero moaned and clutched at Trowa and when his knees hit the back of the bed, the pair went toppling down onto the mattress. Trowa yanked at his own towel and tossed it aside, then reached down for Heero's and with one quick tug, exposed Heero's naked body.

Heero flushed at the predatory eyes raking over his body and even though he had no idea what Trowa would do next, he didn't care. Anything this man was going to do to his body would be welcomed.

_To be continued…._


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Just playing.

**Long time no see. A couple of seasons have come and gone. Yikes. Anyway, I hope you guys haven't forgotten this little story.**

**I really tried to write a chapter for the kids (you know who you are), but it was too cruel so I scrapped it. I think the cute little blonde getting dumped will have to do for now. Sorry!**

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 6**

Duo rubbed his hands together in anticipation as his amethyst eyes glinted in the darkness. He crept along the deserted hallway towards the stairs, already imagining the plate piled high with leftovers. _I know I'm risking losing that bet with 'Fei and if he finds out I'll never hear the end of it, jeez! But I just gotta! They're calling out to me_!

Just after taking the first few steps downstairs, Duo heard a noise and looked back to see a shadowy figure standing at the top of the stairs. He froze, wondering if the person actually saw him and he strained his eyes, trying to make out who was roaming the halls this late at night. _Shit! If it's 'Fei, I'm screwed_.

The two figures just stood there, staring, wondering who would be the first to acknowledge the other. Duo swallowed hard and just as he was about to say something, the figure disappeared down the hallway.

Duo sighed and sagged with relief against the banister. _Whew! That was close. But if it wasn't 'Fei trying to catch me, who was it? The figure was too tall to be Quatre. Besides, he would have joined me. He's just as bad as I am. Heero is sick in bed so that just leaves Trowa. But what would he be doing wandering the halls? And why didn't he say anything_?

Duo eventually shrugged it off and counted his good fortune as he made his way to the kitchen.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Trowa's calculating mind already had a plausible excuse in place when he encountered the shadowy figure in the hallway, but much to his amazement Duo didn't say anything to him. _Oh well, if he asks in the morning I'll just say I was in the library_.

As he reached out for the doorknob to his shared bedroom with Quatre, he noticed there was no light filtering out and so saying a quiet prayer of thanks he quietly entered the room, hoping not to wake the blonde and get into bed without incident. Trowa managed to make it to his dresser and open the drawer before Quatre stirred and turned on the bedside lamp. A sleepy mop of blonde hair popped up from under the covers and Quatre rubbed his eyes.

"Trowa? Where have you been?"

Quatre squinted at the bedside clock and saw the late hour, then he turned to Trowa and his concern at his boyfriend's whereabouts vanished. Trowa stood there in clothes not his own, holding his pajamas in his hands.

Neither could say anything and so Trowa turned and began to change into his pajamas. As much as he wanted to keep Heero's shirt on and smell the man's spicy scent, he took it off and shoved it and Heero's sweatpants in his dresser drawer.

Quatre had been trying to deny that his relationship with Trowa was over. Even before they'd arrived for the holidays, he could tell they'd drifted apart. He had hoped that being able to spend the holidays together and be with their friends would help bring them closer, but he saw the glances and brief touches. He kept explaining them away as his own overactive imagination, even as the pain in his heart grew sharper. _This is it._ _There is no denying it any longer. There is nothing I can do_.

"You're leaving me for him, aren't you?"

Trowa froze in his current task of putting Heero's clothes away. He turned around to see Quatre sitting on the edge of the bed, his head bowed, fingers fidgeting. Trowa couldn't help but observe that Quatre suddenly looked small, like a child sitting on his parents' bed and getting lost in the size of things.

"Yes."

A sniffle echoed in the quiet room and Trowa turned back around to close his dresser drawer, gazing at Quatre through the reflection in the mirror. _This isn't how I wanted to tell him, but there's no going back now._

"Did you ever love me?"

"Of course."

"….what happened?"

Trowa thought how best to explain things to Quatre. He and Heero had been suppressing their feelings for each other for quite some time and even though living far away from each other helped them to prolong their denial, they'd finally reached a point where they couldn't deny themselves any longer. It didn't mean that he didn't love Quatre. On the contrary, he cared for the blonde very much. He was the most kindhearted person Trowa knew. During the course of their relationship, they led a nice, comfortable life where one day just blurred into the next. But then Trowa found himself looking forward to Quatre's business trips so he could be alone and take a deep proverbial breath and banish the feeling of suffocation.

_Quatre is a good man and I wish I didn't have to hurt him. But it's better for the both of us. We can't keep living this lie. We were not meant to be. I should have found the courage to tell him a long time ago._

"We've both found the courage to accept our heart's desire."

Quatre cringed as a sharp pain spiked in his chest and he hugged himself tight. _I knew this day would come. I just chose to ignore the signs and kept smiling. As comfortable as we are together…..there's no real passion. I guess there never really was_. _I never really thought of Trowa as a passionate person but those few times I've caught him looking at Heero…..he's never looked at me like that_.

"We both knew this was coming, Quatre."

Quatre let out a bitter bark of laughter and looked up at Trowa, hardened eyes still leaking tears. Trowa wasn't surprised to see Quatre become angry so quickly. He'd witnessed the blonde lose his temper from time to time. And as a matter of fact he was thankful. He was worried about Quatre falling into a deep depression. _Let him stay angry. It will be healthier for him in the long run_.

"So now what? Do we play the happy couple for the next four days?"

"I'll do whatever you want me to."

"Liar!"

"Quatre, I---"

"Just leave. I don't want you staying with me." Quatre's anger seemed to leave him as quickly as it developed and he dropped his head and his voice. "It would…..be too difficult."

Trowa nodded, expecting the request, and went to the closet and pulled out a small suitcase, laying it on top of a nearby dressing bench. He opened a few drawers and took the clothes within and placed them in the suitcase. When he clicked the suitcase shut he looked back over to see Quatre in the same position.

"Heero and I will not say or do anything while we're here."

Trowa walked over to Quatre and softly pet the platinum blond hair.

"I am truly sorry, Quatre. I hope one day you can forgive me."

He leaned down and kissed the top of the shaking young man's head and then left silently, suitcase in hand. As soon as the door clicked shut Quatre choked out some sobs as he fell back into the cold, empty bed.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero wasn't asleep when the quiet knock sounded at his door and he was halfway to answering it when the door silently opened to reveal Trowa in his pajamas, holding a suitcase. He didn't need to ask why he was there and he would wait for Trowa to give him whatever details he wanted, but for now….

"I've been keeping the bed warm for you."

Trowa let out a shaky sigh and just stood there, suitcase still in hand. Heero could see he was upset and immediately took the suitcase and tossed it aside before enveloping Trowa within his arms. He didn't ask any questions and Trowa didn't offer any explanation. They just stood there, Heero holding Trowa tightly as he silently cried.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Duo silently made his way back from the kitchen with a plate laden with holiday leftovers, licking his lips in anticipation. But as he padded down the hallway he heard something crash. He looked around in the darkened hallway, got his bearings and realized he was right outside of Quatre's and Trowa's room.

He sidled up and pressed his ear against the door. _I hear crying. Nobody is talking. There's no way Trowa would cry like that, so….._

Duo rapped lightly on the door, quietly calling out to his friend.

"Quatre? Hey, you ok?"

Duo kept knocking and calling out until finally his concern won out over politeness and he opened the door just a crack.

"Quatre?"

Duo slowly entered the darkened room, not seeing anyone at first. But then his eyes adjusted and he saw a figure sitting on the end of the bed.

"Quat? What's….going on?"

Still no response from the blonde other than sniffles. Duo looked around the room, straining his eyes for any sign of Trowa, but found nothing. _Then again, that man blends in during the daylight_.

"Quat? You ok?"

"He left me."

The voice was raspy and small and it made Duo's heart hurt. Never mind the words that were uttered into the darkness. _"He left me." _

_Does he mean Trowa? Did Trowa….? No way…._

Duo turned on a bedside lamp before kneeling down in front of Quatre, his plate forgotten, left on a nearby dresser. He reached out and cupped Quatre's face, wiping away the wet tracks with his thumbs.

"Do you mean…Trowa?"

Quatre could only nod and that's when Duo pulled Quatre onto the floor and into his arms. They just stayed on the floor for awhile, Duo holding Quatre tight and soothing the trembling and crying blonde.

When Quatre finally quieted down, he sagged against Duo with a tired sigh. Duo stroked the soft blonde hair and tried to get Quatre talking. _It never helps to keep these things bottled up inside. It'll just slowly eat away at him._

"Do you…want to talk about it?"

"I…don't know…there's not much to say."

"Well…did he say why?"

Quatre looked into the sympathetic eyes of his friend and he debated about telling Duo everything. He didn't want to cause any trouble. _Trowa said they wouldn't do anything. And things will be awkward enough without Duo knowing as well_.

"It was…just time. We'd been growing apart. I knew it but I….just ignored it."

"But you guys always look so happy. I don't understand."

Quatre just shrugged and wrung his fingers.

"It's not like we…h-hate…each other. It's just….he…"

Quatre grimaced and swallowed hard as he fought to say the words. _I have to say this. It will make it real for me. I trust Duo. I have to face this_.

"He loves another."

Duo was speechless. He'd seen Quatre and Trowa together for years and not once did he ever wonder if they would make it. _If they couldn't make it, what hope do the rest of us have? I mean, Quat said he's been traveling a lot, but I just can't picture Trowa cheating on him. _

Duo tilted his head a little to the side and furrowed his brows. He couldn't help but think of the quietly sobbing blonde as a heartbroken teenaged girl._ Quatre's always been sensitive like that_. Then something occurred to Duo and he straightened, his eyes a little wide in realization. _Wait. Maybe Trowa didn't leave Quatre. Maybe it was just a fight. Maybe Quatre is just paranoid. Mistaken. _

"Quat….are you sure? Did he tell you he was leaving you for someone else? Are you sure you two didn't just have a fight and you misunderstood?"

Quatre's head shot up at the sound of the condescending voice and he pushed away from Duo. Even in the dim light Duo could see the anger flashing in the shiny teal eyes. And if there was any doubt about how Quatre was feeling at the moment, an acidic, sarcastic voice, nothing Duo ever wanted to hear from Quatre sounded between them.

"Yes I'm sure, Duo! I'm not some dumb blonde! I know when my damn boyfriend is dumping me!"

Duo's eyes were wide in shock and he just stared at the smaller man who stood up with a growl and stalked over to the curtains and yanked them aside as if they'd just offended him. Duo saw the silhouetted figure against the bright night sky and just when he was about to call out to the figure he wasn't sure was his friend anymore, he heard a quiet voice drifting.

"What does he do for you that I don't? What made you love him and not me? Is it empathy? Do you pity him being alone all the time?"

And an anguished sound escaped and Quatre brought his hands up and grabbed fistfuls of hair as he bent over, letting the pain overtake him once again.

"I have to know! Why do you love Heero and not me?!"

At the sound of Heero's name Duo was brought out of his shock and he forgot himself.

"Heero?! He left you for Heero?!"

Duo scrambled over to the slowly sinking figure and grabbed Quatre by the shoulders, forcing him to stand.

"Now I know you're crazy, Quat. There's no way Heero----"

"Oh, Duo. Open your eyes and really look around you. See us for what we are."

"Wha--?"

Quatre sighed and hung his head.

"Even you had to see it, Duo. Ever since we arrived; Trowa and Heero, the looks, the small touches."

Duo frowned as he thought back and tried to remember anything out of the ordinary. _Come to think of it, Heero was acting strangely that time when I caught him listening to Trowa play. And Trowa insisted on taking Heero some food_. Suddenly, Duo's eyes went wide as he recalled a shadowy figure earlier that night. A shadowy figure he was sure saw him, but didn't acknowledge him. _Was that Trowa, coming back from…?_

"That sonofabitch."

Quatre looked up at the tightened grip on his shoulders and the angry words spit through clenched teeth.

"Duo?"

"I can't believe he would do something so despicable as betray a friend like this. I always knew he had a certain detachment to emotions, but this…."

Duo looked into Quatre's eyes and he forced his anger down, hugging Quatre to him. _I'll deal with them later_.

"I'm so sorry, Quat. I'm so sorry."

_To be continued…._


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Just playing.

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 7**

Wufei's eyes remained focused on the empty kitchen table where he and his friends were not having breakfast like they normally would. He clasped his mug firmly within both hands, his instincts telling him something major had happened last night. His first clue was coming downstairs to find he was the first person awake, no evidence of Heero or Trowa having already been in the kitchen to make coffee.

His second clue came while pouring steaming water into a mug for tea. Duo entered the kitchen, sleepy, disheveled, putting a full plate of leftovers back in the fridge and shuffling over to make coffee. Before Wufei could demand satisfaction for his victory and berate Duo for his weakness, Duo turned around and aimed bloodshot eyes at his friend and spoke in a soft voice.

"I took the food, but I didn't eat it. So let's call it a draw, ok, 'Fei?"

Wufei was shocked and concerned for Duo's appearance and lack of life. No matter the time of day or his health, Duo always had some sort of energy.

As Duo prepared to make a pot of coffee and pulled two mugs from the cupboard, Wufei sat at the table and steeped his tea bag, wondering what, if anything, he should say to his friend. _Maybe he just had a sleepless night. But something serious must be wrong if he didn't eat the leftovers. Or try to hide the fact from me that he took them in the first place_. _And what the hell is he doing with two mugs_?

As Wufei weighed the options and debated how much tact he wanted to use, Heero appeared in the kitchen looking to be his usual self. Without a word of greeting to anyone, he went over and took out a coffee mug and placed it next to the two Duo had already pulled out and went to sit at the table where he offered a nod to Wufei and received one in return.

After a few silent moments the sound of coffee being poured could be heard and Heero stood up, only to find Duo pouring the pot of coffee down the drain.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Wufei looked up to see Duo glaring at Heero as he emptied the coffee into the sink and then turned away to pick up the two full mugs of coffee.

"If you need me, 'Fei, I'll be in Quatre's room."

And with those words Duo left, leaving Wufei confused at his behavior and Heero looking like he'd seen a ghost.

"What was that all about, Yuy?"

Heero recognized the tone of voice and normally he would be willing to offer up information, knowing Wufei wouldn't stop until he got the answers he wanted. _Especially since he used my surname. He always means business then_. But he wasn't in the mood this morning and he really wasn't sure it was his place to offer any information.

"Nothing."

And with that, Heero left the kitchen. So Wufei sat there and analyzed all he had observed that morning: _Duo was obviously angry with Heero and it had something to do with Quatre. And Duo only took two coffee mugs back to Quatre's room, not three. So where does that leave Trowa_?

As Wufei kept reviewing the facts he could only come up with one conclusion no matter how he looked at things: Trowa must have told Quatre about him and Heero and somehow Duo ended up comforting Quatre. _So my theory about them was correct._ _I wonder how long they've been having an affair_.

Wufei groaned and took a tentative sip of his tea, making a mental note to call Sally when he got back to his room and tell her how thankful he was to have her.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

When Heero got back to his room, Trowa was awake and offered a small smile.

"Good morning."

Heero's heart skipped a beat at the realization that Trowa was in his bed, smiling, waiting for him.

"M-morning."

Trowa's smile fell and he sat up from leaning back against the headboard, draping his arms around his pulled up knees. _I thought he went to get some coffee_?

"Is something wrong?"

Heero sighed, sounding tired.

"Nothing unexpected I guess."

Heero sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over, his elbows on his knees, hands clasping handfuls of hair.

"I went downstairs to make coffee and Duo was already there. He poured two cups of coffee, dumped the rest down the drain while giving me a look of pure death and then said he'd be in Quatre's room."

"I see."

"I knew things were going to be difficult with Quatre, but….."

"I'm sorry, Heero."

Heero sat up and turned to see Trowa hugging his knees, his chin resting on the tops of his knees, facing Heero. He reached out and stroked the auburn hair and kissed Trowa's temple.

"Don't be. Things will work themselves out."

"And if they don't?"

Heero's hand faltered in its gentle ministrations, but then the corners of his lips curved up as he leaned in, his hand guiding Trowa's head upright so he could deliver a sweet, tender kiss.

"Then we're stuck with each other."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"How do you feel?"

Quatre took a tentative sip of the steaming coffee, his brows furrowed at an unbidden thought echoing in his mind: _Trowa would have put in cream and sugar and an ice cube_.

The anger he had from last night was gone. It wasn't in his nature to remain angry.

"_**Anger is a very unhealthy emotion, Quatre. You should rise above it."**_

Quatre let out a quiet, bitter, chuckle at his father's words. _Yeah, but you never got dumped, did you, father_?

"Quatre?"

Duo had been watching Quatre like a hawk since last night, his concern for his broken hearted friend driving him almost to the point of paranoia. And now he watched as Quatre seemingly had a silent conversation while sipping his coffee and staring forward, frowning.

Quatre continued to talk, unprompted by Duo. He just stared and spoke out loud. To whom, Duo hadn't a clue. _At least he's talking though_.

"He was so calm about the whole thing. He didn't say much, just pulled out his suitcase, packed his clothes, and left. I could never be that strong. Then again, he had someone waiting for him. He's not the one who's alone, so why should he be upset? I'm the one who was left behind."

Duo put down his cup of coffee and went over to Quatre, kneeling before him like last night. Only now, bathed in the morning light, Quatre could see the pity in the pale amethyst eyes. The normally congenial blonde frowned.

"Don't look at me like that."

"Like what? Quat, I don't--"

"And stop calling me that!"

Quatre stood up and Duo quickly moved out of the way as Quatre made his way back into the bedroom from the balcony where they were having coffee.

"It sounds so childish! I'm not a child, damn it!"

Quatre threw off his robe and stormed towards the bathroom, leaving the door open. Duo walked back into the bedroom and slowly made his way to the door.

"And I'm not going to just sit around here like some wounded little rabbit!"

Duo could hear the sound of the shower running now. Suddenly Quatre appeared in the bathroom door, naked and angry.

"I'm sick and tired of everyone treating me like I'm some fragile piece of porcelain! I am a grown man and I run an enormous company that is worth billions of dollars. And just because I got dumped doesn't mean---"

Duo had been slowly approaching the raving Quatre and he reached out, hesitantly, to brush away the tears streaming down his face. Quatre seemed shocked by the gesture and small touch and he looked at Duo as if realizing for the first time he was not alone.

"Duo?"

"It's ok. Let it all out. That's what I'm here for."

"I don't--!"

"Yes, you do."

Duo stood there and waited for Quatre to own up to his emotions but the petite blonde glared at Duo and shoved the door in his face. Duo stood there and waited, listening. He heard the shower still running, and he heard crying and mumbled words. So he sat there and waited for Quatre to come out. He would stay and wait as long as it took for his friend to reappear. And he would patiently wait for Quatre to breakdown again. And he would be there, just like before, just like now.

_To be continued…._


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Just playing.

**I'm hoping I've laid out the group dynamic a little better, giving insight into the relationships. I don't know. Maybe.**

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 8**

Duo stopped just before heading down the staircase when he caught sight of Trowa entering the hallway from his presumably shared bedroom with Heero. _The nerve of them_.

Trowa didn't miss the glint of anger in Duo's eyes and his steps never faltered as he approached the staircase, stopping only until they were close enough to speak in hushed tones. _No sense in causing a scene_. He wanted to say something to Duo, to make things better between Duo and Heero. He hated seeing Heero upset, especially when he was the cause.

Duo glared at the calm brunette across from him. _How can he look like nothing's happened? Has he no shame? No guilt for what he's done to Quatre_?

"Duo, I know that you're upset about what's happened, but---"

"No, I'm not upset. I'm _appalled_. How could you do that to him? And why now? It's the holidays! You and Heero couldn't keep your dicks in your pants long enough to---"

Duo never saw the fist that connected with his jaw. One moment he was yelling at Trowa and the next he was on the floor, a raging throb in his jaw.

"Don't speak of what you don't know."

"What's to know?! You cheated on Quatre and Heero betrayed his friend! Case closed!"

Trowa sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose to keep from punching Duo again. None of his friends, not even Heero, had a true understanding of the potential of Trowa Barton's anger. It was usually dormant, simmering within the quiet and reserved man. But once awakened, it was ruthless and undiscriminating. And right now, having to deal with a self righteous Duo while defending the man he loved, he could feel it bubbling up within.

"I can appreciate your loyalty to Quatre and honestly I don't care if you hate me." Trowa lowered his hand and looked to Duo who was still sitting on the floor. "All I'm asking is that you not abandon Heero. He is your friend too, Duo. Maybe you should hear his side before you damn him to hell."

Duo never looked up at Trowa. He just stared down at the floor, his face burning with anger and shame as Trowa spoke in a voice Duo didn't think possible. It was commanding and harsh and he never imagined the quiet, unassuming man could be capable of such a sound. _I thought I knew my friends so well, but after this…..maybe Quatre was right. Maybe I need to open my eyes and see the people around me for who they really are: imperfections and all_.

He listened as the footsteps faded down the stairway before bringing a hand up to his jaw and working it a few times.

_He's right. Even Quatre admitted things weren't great between them. I should give Heero a chance to explain himself, but…..how could Heero do that to his friend_? _After everything we've been through together_?

Suddenly something occurred to Duo which he hadn't considered since the whole drama started to unfold: _Heero must truly love Trowa_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"I suppose this will be a Christmas none of us will forget."

Trowa looked up from his cup of tea that he'd prepared and not touched. He just stared into the steaming liquid, lost in thought. He was very troubled about Heero who was taking Duo's rejection very hard.

Wufei saw the furrowed brows and noted the slumped posture of the former acrobat and he could feel the dark aura washing off his friend in waves.

"If you feel this much guilt then perhaps you shouldn't have left him."

Trowa slowly moved his head back and forth.

"Hurting Quatre was inevitable and regrettable. But we had been steadily growing apart and he knows that. My concern is for Heero. And Duo."

"Oh?"

"Heero told me of their exchange this morning. He's very upset by it."

"Duo and Quatre are very much alike. They both wear their hearts on their sleeves. Whereas Quatre lets his emotions weaken him, making him vulnerable, Duo's emotions give him strength and focus his attention acutely. Right now his primary concern is the friend who is hurting and it doesn't matter that the cause of his friend's pain is another dear friend. As soon as Quatre is better, Duo will be as well."

Wufei took a bite of his sandwich and looked towards the kitchen entrance. He'd heard the sound of someone coming downstairs and approaching but no one had entered yet. _Heero is as silent as a cat so it can't be him. Besides, he would have just come in. So it's either Duo or Quatre. Most likely Duo. He seems to be catering to Quatre in his state of heartache. The big-hearted fool. He needs to make Quatre stand on his own feet and face the world._

"I hope you're right. I don't want Heero to suffer the loss of his friend because of me."

"Would you be willing to give up Heero if Duo demanded it?"

Trowa met the inquisitive gaze of Wufei and understood.

"No."

Wufei nodded his approval and stood up, placing his plate in the sink and heading for the doorway.

"You knew this wasn't going to be easy. But you wouldn't have done it if you didn't truly believe the other to be worth it."

Trowa just sat there and stared down into his untouched drink, a small smile curving his lips. _Yes, you're right, Wufei. Heero will always be worth it_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

KNOCK KNOCK

Heero paused in his packing at the sound of the soft knock.

"Come in."

He continued to arrange his clothes in his suitcase when his door opened and revealed a timid looking Duo. Heero immediately straightened and took a step back.

"H-hey. Do you think we could…talk?"

"Sure."

Duo closed the door behind him and entered the room, still looking uncertain. Heero gestured to the chair in the corner and Duo sat down while Heero sat on the corner of the bed, leaning over with his elbows on his knees.

The pair remained in silence for a few minutes and just as Heero cleared his throat to say something, Duo spoke up.

"I wanna know how this happened. I mean…" Duo took a deep breath and slouched back into the chair and gazed up at the ceiling. "I don't understand, Heero. Quatre is your friend. How could you do something like that to him?"

Heero sighed and ran his hands through his hair before answering.

"I don't have to defend or justify what I did."

"So you don't care that you broke Quatre's heart?!"

Duo had dropped his head from looking at the ceiling and was now glaring at Heero. Heero slowly lifted his head and Duo's glare faltered as he saw the anguish in the steel blue eyes.

"Of course I care that I hurt my friends. You and Quatre are my family. But…."

Heero couldn't sit still any longer and so he stood up to continue packing.

"Has there ever been anyone in your life that you were so desperate to keep by your side that you just knew you would die if you didn't? Without Trowa…..I feel like I'm suffocating and the world looks grey and sounds are muted."

Duo couldn't believe what he was hearing from the normally stoic brunette. _When did Heero become a romantic? If he was suffering this much, why did he wait_?

"H-how long have….when did you know?"

Heero's lips curved in a bitter smile and he paused and looked over to Duo.

"I've always been drawn to him."

"So why did you wait so long?"

Heero's smirk fell and he lowered his head as he fidgeted with the zipper on his suitcase.

"He chose Quatre so I respected their relationship. But when I went to take care of him that time…..I could see things had changed. I was scared to do anything then and so I left him without saying a word."

Duo found himself drawn to Heero's words like a moth to a flame and he found himself getting out of the chair and slowly approaching Heero, all the while guiding the story with quiet inquisitions.

"What was different this time?"

"Trowa….I felt the difference in him as soon as we arrived. And then he came to me with a gift and I….I finally told him."

Duo saw the slight shiver and noticed the goosebumps on Heero's arms. _So this has been building for years. He was trying to leave Trowa to Quatre but….Trowa felt the same about Heero. They tried to do the right thing by Quatre but they ended up hurting him even more than if they'd been honest from the beginning. But…..why did Trowa choose Quatre to begin with_?

"I'm glad Quatre has you by his side right now. You're a good friend, Duo."

Duo blinked himself free of his thoughts at the strained voice of his best friend and he could think of nothing to say so he did the first thing that sprang to mind. He reached out and hugged his friend desperately.

"I'm by your side too, Heero. Always."

_To be continued…._


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Just playing.

**A/N: **_This is it kiddies. I thought it would be a few more chapters, but I liked the idea of just having these conversations move things along. It's different than what I normally do (I think) but I like it. Here's hoping you do too._

**Hidden Hearts**

**Chapter 9**

Trowa sighed contentedly as he leaned back against Heero, the pair stretching out on the bed with Heero propped up against the headboard, arms around Trowa. They had just finished their dinner, leftovers reheated and eaten in their shared room. Heero had felt like he could take a deep breath after his talk with Duo and knowing the air had been cleared between them left him free to worry about his main concern:

'So now what?"

"I thought I'd go home with you."

Heero's eyes went round but he quickly recovered himself and hugged Trowa to him tightly.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

"It's a bit late in the game to be asking me that question, don't you think?"

Heero only smiled and squeezed tighter, while Trowa closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation of Heero's arms around him and the scent of spices tickling his nose as he turned his head and buried his face in the crook of Heero's neck.

"So…..do you have a room to spare?"

"No." Heero pulled back and gave Trowa a tender kiss on his forehead. "But I do have a life I'm willing to share."

"Lucky me."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Trowa figured it was safe to go downstairs in the early morning hour to get some coffee. He had been very careful and respectful of Quatre's feelings and so he'd tried to avoid the blonde at all costs. But his theory of early morning peace was shattered when he walked out onto the porch and found Quatre sitting on the bench, looking lost.

He was going to go back in the house but Quatre looked up at him and he found himself drawn to the big, sad teal eyes. He sat down and looked out over the snowy landscape, and thought about the last time he was sharing the bench, his thoughts focused on Heero, even when he was sitting there alone with Quatre. Not much was different from that time and this time, except Quatre knew he was thinking about Heero as well.

Trowa took a sip of his coffee and braced himself for the conversation that was needed.

"I apologize for how poorly I handled the situation. You deserved better."

Quatre nodded and kept his gaze to the side, admiring the sparkle of the white snow in the early morning hours. _So cold and beautiful. I wish I were like that, then this wouldn't hurt so much._

"I know this is asking a lot of you, but---"

"Then don't ask."

Quatre stood up and looked down, meeting the deep green eyes, determined to see this conversation through with some dignity and not give in to the heartache threatening to break free.

"I don't believe you're in a position to ask anything of me and I for one do not feel the need to grant you anything."

Trowa's gaze never faltered and Quatre found himself cursing the brunette for his calm façade. _Doesn't he feel anything for me? Remorse? Love? Hatred? Pity? Anything_?! Quatre clenched his fists tightly, his heartache suddenly giving way to anger as he continued to meet Trowa's even gaze.

"How can you just sit there like that?! Don't you feel anything?! Is that why you're leaving me for him? So both of you can just be together and feel nothing?!"

Quatre bent down and grabbed Trowa by his collar, but still the brunette showed no outward reaction other than standing up.

"What's wrong with you? What's wrong with _me_?! Why wasn't I enough? Why him?!"

Trowa reached up and cupped Quatre's wet cheeks in his palms, freezing the ranting blonde. He wiped the tears away with his thumbs and then leaned in, delivering a tender kiss to Quatre's trembling lips.

"I am sorry for hurting you, Quatre. I do love you, as my precious and dearest friend. Heero and I are kindred souls and I deeply regret that it was you that was hurt because of our foolishness in denying our feelings. You have every right to forsake us, but I hope that someday we can all be friends again. Goodbye, Quatre. Be well."

Trowa once again kissed Quatre tenderly, lingering a few extra seconds before backing away, leaving the petite blonde alone on the front porch, eyes closed, tears still streaming down his cheeks.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Wufei was grateful that for all the drama of the past two days, things were quiet and it appeared they would be able to end their holiday, albeit early, on a peaceful note. Everyone was packed and Trowa and Heero would be leaving ahead of the rest of them. Transportation had been a bit of an issue, since not everyone arrived in their own vehicles. But for the sake of harmony, and more to the point, being too depressed to care, Quatre offered the car he and Trowa arrived in to Trowa and Heero since Heero had arrived in a cab. Wufei was more than glad to take Quatre to the airport along with Duo who had made the trip with him to begin with.

Earlier that morning he'd heard Quatre's raised voice coming from outside so he decided to go back upstairs and wait a half hour or so before trying again. When he returned, Wufei found Heero pouring two cups of coffee. Both greeted each other in their normal, nonverbal manner and then Heero proceeded back upstairs.

Wufei hadn't seen Quatre all morning but a brief chat with Duo assured him that the broken hearted man was doing well enough. Although Wufei wasn't sure he could say the same for Duo. He looked awful with dark circles under his eyes, wrinkled clothes, and his hair was becoming stringy. Wufei would have scolded him for being so careless with himself, but he knew that Duo was only trying to take care of his friend and he would soon b back home where he would fall into his normal routine and be the gregarious man he knew once again.

As Wufei made sandwiches for the flight back home he heard a noise and craned his neck to see Duo walking by towards the front door. The man looked determined, but a little fearful as well. Wufei knew to leave well enough alone but kept his ears peeled for any trouble. _Just let them get out of the house without incident, please_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Trowa."

The tall brunette stopped on his way out the door and saw Heero's concern but just nodded for him to go ahead to the car. Trowa turned back into the house and stopped at the open doorway and Duo.

"Yes, Duo?"

"Before you go, there's something I need to know. Why did you choose Quatre to begin with?"

Trowa's lips slid into a sleepy smile.

"Because I loved him and he made me happy."

"What about Heero?"

"Heero was incapable of loving anyone at the time. He knew only one thing: the mission."

Duo nodded, knowing full well the extent of Heero Yuy's dedication to "the mission". But he changed and learned there was more to life. _But I guess by then it was too late and so he had to watch Trowa from the sidelines. I can't imagine how hard it is to watch someone you love be with another_.

"Don't worry, Duo. I'll take good care of him."

Trowa pat Duo on the shoulder and offered a small smile before turning and heading for the car where Heero was waiting, arms crossed over his chest, still looking worried. Trowa tossed his suitcase in the trunk and slammed it shut. He went to Heero's side and leaned in, whispering in his ear.

Duo saw Heero's cheeks getting rosy and suddenly his eyes went wide and he looked at Duo. Duo just nodded and Heero reluctantly returned the gesture before getting in the car. Duo watched the car disappear down the long driveway, marveling at the sight of Heero Yuy blushing. _My god, it really must be love_.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Duo gazed out the window, watching the landscape getting smaller and smaller as the transport took off. He couldn't get the sight of Quatre walking off to his flight by himself, shoulders slumped, gait sluggish. _He looked so….defeated_.

"I should have gone with him."

"Quatre is stronger than you think."

Duo looked to Wufei whose gaze was still lingering on his open book.

"It has nothing to do with strength, 'Fei. He's my friend and he shouldn't be alone. He should have a comforting presence."

"I disagree. It's time for Quatre to stand on his own. He's always had someone there to catch him and pet him and tell him everything will be alright."

"There's nothing wrong with that! I wish I always had someone there for me."

Wufei sighed and placed the open book in his lap, turning his full attention to his longtime friend.

"You had people there for you at times. But you also learned and became stronger during the times when you had nobody as much as when you had somebody. Quatre needs that lesson."

Duo eyed Wufei warily and crossed his arms over his chest and sunk down in his chair with a huff.

"So if I'd had my heart broken, you would leave me alone in the hopes that I would work it out for myself?"

"Of course not."

Wufei picked his book up again and presumably returned his attention to it rather than Duo, but he continued their conversation in a very matter-of-fact manner.

"I would come over to your apartment and we would watch movies, eat ice cream, and braid each other's hair."

Duo's frown begrudgingly turned into a lopsided smirk and he turned his head just enough to see Wufei's calm and unaffected face staring into his book.

"You would let me braid your hair, 'Fei?"

"As long as I get to pick the movies."

Duo chuckled and turned back to facing forward, his eyes closed.

"It's a deal."

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

Heero let himself into the apartment and smiled when his nose picked up luscious smells of home cooking. It had been six months since Trowa came home with him and he had been surprised at how easily they slipped into living together. Heero had always lived alone and he thought there would be an adjustment period, but having Trowa around felt natural and it felt like they'd been together forever. The only major change Heero had to make to accommodate his new roommate was get a bigger apartment, but that too felt good, a symbol of their fresh start.

"Hello?"

He tossed his keys in the nearby dish sitting on the foyer table and headed for the kitchen.

"Hello there."

Heero returned the subtle smile being offered from the man with the auburn hair who was stirring sauce at the moment.

"So this is why you left work early?"

Heero walked over and kissed Trowa on the cheek on his way to the cupboard to retrieve plates. Trowa merely shrugged and returned his attention to his sauce.

"It's ok. My boss is very lenient."

Heero smirked and headed out of the kitchen to set the table.

"And gullible apparently."

Trowa softly chuckled and continued to prepare dinner while Heero walked back and forth, setting the table and pouring drinks.

"Being trusting is not necessarily being gullible."

Heero stopped and leaned against the door frame, arms crossed over his chest.

"Whatever. I think you owe him an apology."

Trowa turned off the stove and approached Heero, reaching out and taking a firm hold of his hips while closing in and kissing him slowly, seductively, all the while Heero remained unresponsive with the exception of his lips. Then Trowa leaned in further and whispered into Heero's ear.

"I'm sorry….boss. Forgive me?"

Heero closed his eyes and reveled in the shivers running up and down his spine. When he finally spoke, his voice was thick with lust.

"Depends. What's for dessert?"

**End.**

_I had this conversation between Duo, Wufei, and Sally as an aftermath kind of thing that would summarize what happened to people after the holidays, but I decided not to use it in favor of Trowa and Heero. They are the main characters after all. But the conversation was hilarious with Duo taking advantage of Quatre's "hospitality" and being a total DOG. I'll have to see about using it in another story. _

_Also, I always smile when I read the little exchange between Duo and Wufei on their way back home. Braids for everyone!_


End file.
